Congruency – The Key to Happiness Part Two

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This short blog is a follow-up to our initial post about congruency, if you haven’t read it I suggest starting there. In this blog, I hope to give you a better understanding of what congruency is and how one can apply it to one’s own life. As previously stated, congruency is simply following through on what you say you’re going to do and living in direct alignment with your goals, aspirations or visions. We know that congruency spans across all disciplines and activities and is not only relevant to achievement or “success”. You can apply congruency to anything.

The Power of a Word


The reason I found this word so profound is because it diluted a lot of my “problems” into one word, a word that had meaning and substance. Am I being congruent? The answer is a yes or a no. It’s black and white and that is what I love. A lot of the great philosophers, Stoic philosophers, in particular, would hold themselves accountable by asking themselves a series of questions each morning and evening, preparing themselves for the day ahead or the following day to come. These questions were worded in ways that allowed them to stay detached from certain circumstances over which they had no control. Instead, they would focus on the things over which they had control. When people become so engrossed in outside circumstances i.e. the things they cannot control, it adversely affects the things which they have control over and thus, they are at the mercy of the world.

Some people have found enlightenment from relentless work ethic and falling in love with what they do. Many people find peace within the chaos that is mastering a craft. You too can find a Zen state even in the most tedious of tasks. The labels that we apply to things often alienate us from what they truly are and we add so much extra baggage that we no longer want to do certain tasks. We need a more objective outlook to most areas of life and notice them for what they are and not what we think they are. The reason I say this is because we oftentimes look at a project or plan as a whole and forget that these long-term plans are made up of seconds, minutes, hours and days and oftentimes this paralysis stops us from being fully congruent.

How Can You Introduce Congruency Into Your Life?


In order to be more congruent, you must scope out exactly what it is you’re hoping to do better or improve upon. Ask yourself these questions.

  • What don’t I like about my daily actions?
  • Is this important to me?
  • What would I like to do/do better?
  • What is stopping me? Is it inside or outside of my control?
  • How would I approach this task if I knew I could not fail?
  • What is this task and am I making it more important than it really is?

You can, of course, add to these questions but they are mainly to give you a guideline as to how to approach a topic or task. In order to act in a congruent manner you must first understand exactly what it is you’re trying to do and after that, figure out how you’re going to do it. Even if you don’t fully know, get started and learn as you go. We see this in college graduates who often state that what they learned in college had little or no relevance to their jobs. Everything they needed for their job was learned when they started. Think of the above questions as the degree you needed to get the job in the first place. They may not always be relevant to your task but they give you the opportunity to work on the task.

A lot of the battle is simply showing up. Whether you’re looking to get better at a sport, a subject at school, lose weight or do work on the house, the toughest part is showing up and once you’ve begun it is easier from there. Simply showing up day after day allows you to build momentum and confidence in whatever you are doing. As I have stated before, the good plan followed is much better than the perfect plan not followed.

Get out there and show up day after day. Align what you’re doing directly with what it is you want and just fucking do it.